Well, I haven't written anything in a few months. Mainly because I have been so gosh darn busy I just didn't have the time to write or even think about it honestly. A lot has changed. I have moved and gotten settled in New Jersey. I would love to say that it's amazing, fantastic, spectacular. But it is not. I love our little apartment and I have been very lucky with getting a great job with a wonderful family and precious baby girl Sienna. Living with Shane has transitioned so effortlessly. There haven't been any weird "I'm living with my boyfriend" moments or has there ever been a time where I wish we weren't. I absolutely love it. He is my forever.
Other than that.... I can't wait to move back. Yes, it has only been 2 months, but we were only going to stay initially for a year. We are looking at moving back around July. I would go now, but he has to figure out a job situation and we have to deal with our apartment and find one back home. He knows I want to be in Fort Mill, and seeing as he isn't tied to anywhere specific in the area, he says Fort Mill will be fine:) I can't even count the many times I have broken down and just lost it emotionally because I miss home so much. Of course having a new experience is good and it really does make me love Fort Mill even more than before (if that was even possible). Being so close to NYC is pretty cool. I get to see the city everyday, and that in itself is something most people don't get to see. I don't like having to take a bus to work and walk, I am very much attached to my car, but there is no parking for longer than 4 hours in Hoboken (where I work).
The puppies have been good, well Wesley has. I am not really sure what Zoe is going through. I think she has a spout of depression. She had to go to the vet last week for her back. Thank God nothing serious is going on there again, but she just isn't her perky self. She used to love going outside and sitting on the patio, now she only goes outside when it's potty time and it's normally freezing. I miss Megan and Logan so much it breaks my heart every time I think about them. At least I get to talk to them still, but I hate it I am not there to watch them everyday or even see them. I feel like I abandoned them and sometimes it is too much for me to handle. I hate not being able to call up someone and go to the store or get dinner. Shane works a whole lot (6 days a week) and I am alone a whole lot. I've never been so alone before. Even when Matthew passed, I was always surrounded by family and friends. I hate being alone so much in a city I don't know.
The people up here, other than a few, are so rude and unfriendly. It's so crazy how different people are up here compared to the South. I always heard Southern hospitality was unique, but never knew how unique until I came up here. No one says hello, thank you, please or even smiles. I have met a few nice people, but in the everyday movement, not so much. It's just a way bigger change than I ever thought or prepared myself for.
Okay, so that's my rant. On a happier note, besides my living situation, I haven't been this happy in a long time. I am so thankful for all of my family and great friends. When you get to a certain age, it really becomes important to know who is really there for you. Especially moving away, you start to see who really cares. Also, let me just say how proud I am of my sister (not Angela). Matthew would be so proud too. She has been so brave in standing up for what she wants in life. It really is admirable. I am also so glad Angela has found someone so amazing. I never would have thought she would be dating someone with kids, especially kids that are 10 and 16. Craziness. I can't wait to move back so I can be apart of their world too. Everyone around me is finally getting the life they want (some it may not be until August- HC), but we all are. That fills me with such comfort and hope for a wonderful future. I look forward to the day when we can all get together on a regular basis.
Enough for now.
Matthew- I still miss you and think of you several times everyday. I always will. I know you had a part in helping us all (me, Angela and Mimi) find happiness and I know you are watching over us and keeping us safe. I know you would be proud and happy for us. Always.
